People (mainly Americans/Canadians) rave on about the glory of Niagara Falls all the time, so I thought when I was in Canada last year that it was a place I had to check out. As it turns out, it was definitely worth visiting, but not necessarily for the reasons I had been told.
The waterfalls themselves were… okay. I’m sure they would have been a little more spectacular had I not already experienced the sheer magnitude and wild, unmolested wonder of the falls in Iguazu. Those sure were some spectacular falls, taking two days to traverse completely:
And when you compare them to this carefully cultivated and gentrified tourism experience…:
… it sadly falls a little short, if you’ll pardon the pun.
Fortunately, prior to my day trip to Niagara Falls I read a few reviews complaining about Cliffton Hill, the tacky commercial area around the Falls filled with over-priced themed mini-golf, haunted house and 3D adventure experiences. I also read about the three – yes three – wax museums, each one tackier than the last.
I love wax museums. The idea of people being fascinated with meeting lifeless versions of their favourite celebrities and notable figures is really intriguing to me. I suppose there is also something to be said for the sheer artisanship required to convincingly model the subject in the eyes of the casual viewer. So, with limited time, I resolved to attend the worst one. And as luck would have it I chose correctly.
The reviews for Movieland Wax Museum Niagara Falls vary quite a bit, but most of the criticism centres around the fact that the models do not remotely look like the celebrities they are supposed to be modeled on. Which, one would imagine, would be the one thing you would want to get right in a wax museum.
They even managed to get Ace Ventura’s signature hair style wrong; preeetty sure he never had a mullet.
Even more bizarre, not all of the wax models in the wax museum are even based on real people. The owners of the museum were apparently ambitious enough to commission models of fictional characters like Snow White, Garfield, and the entire Simpson family.
Beyond this, they probably made the biggest mistake when they decided to animate some of the wax models through motion-triggered sensors. When you are animating a solid, otherwise unmoving statue that is modeled to look like an actual human being, the uncanny valley becomes a veritable gorge:
Besides the above, here are some of my other highlights of this incredible wax museum:
In total I spent about 15 minutes looking at Niagara Falls itself and the rest of the day fully drinking in and meticulously documenting every single wax museum installment, because I knew if I didn’t have the receipts, no one would believe my stories of the sheer horror of this place. In case you don’t get the chance to visit Cliffton Hill, or if you are considering a visit as part of your trip to the Falls but need further convincing, please enjoy the entire album of what you can expect to see. I promise you it’s that much more funny in the flesh. Well, in the wax.
With dinosaur mini-golf and a myriad of poorly-maintained animatronics ushering and daring you into various establishments along the main drag, the rest of Cliffton Hill is fun to explore as well if you really enjoy the tackier things in life, but if you have time for just one belly laugh during your visit to Niagara Falls, I simply can’t recommend Movieland Wax Museum Niagara Falls enough.